36 Comments

  1. We have been talking about this a lot lately! And I agree that other comes with some anxiety. I work full time now and hate the idea of only getting 3 months maternity leave which isn’t paid of course. It’s so hard because I would like to stay home but would have such a hard time finding work if I took time off. I’m trying to just let go of all the worries. I hope it works out for you!
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    • I sometimes think the same and try not to stress too much and think it’ll all work out one way or another, but the n anxiety gets the better of me! I can’t believe you only get 3 months maternity leave that’s such a short time 😕 I suppose one way or another we’ll make it work it’s just deciding to make the leap x

  2. My husband and briefly spoke about this earlier this year and he is still in the ‘very unsure’ camp whereas I know I want another child but am just not ready yet. It’s a tricky and emotive topic whatever your situation. Right now, for me, I’m anxious my husband might not change his view and what that means for me. But financial worries are equally as concerning. Also, I think it takes time to find your routine with baby / toddler 1 and the thought of derailing that is a big step even though you know you’ll build a new routine.

    Like you, I think my preferred time (if you could pick) would be to have a second child when my first was 2.5 – 3 years old. Partly for childcare but also because they are a little more self-sufficient. A friend has just had her second and her first isn’t even 18 months. She’s just realising how hard the next few months will be…although in the longer term she’ll have two best friends for children.

    Best of luck with your decision and childcare costs only go down with time so if you can make something work for a year-or-so then before you know it school etc will kick in and you’ll get back on an even keel! #MarvMondays

    • I hope he eventually comes around, I think it’s nice to have two little ones. My hubby is the opposite and would love to have four, which is lovely if you can afford to stay home and loom after them all. I totally get what you mean about being self sufficient, we’re going away and not having to worry about nappies and milk is great.
      Your friend is brave not sure I could deal with having two that close in age, but the I suppose it’s all done and dusted in one go.
      Definitely a hard decision that needs a lot of thought, for now I’m sticking with maybe next year! X

  3. My son is 15 months old, and the thought of another baby is petrifying! Not only the finances, but I just don’t feel anywhere ready to devote the time or energy to another baby right now. Luckily, I am able to stay home, but I don’t think that would be the case if we had another baby, honestly. What seems crazy to me is that, after my son turned a year old, people started asking when we were thinking about no. 2. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind until that point!

    I don’t think it’s funny that you’re so apprehensive about welcoming another baby into your family. I am the exact same way, wasn’t afraid at all to get pregnant. Now that I’ve walked down parenting lane, I’m happing waiting a year (or four!) before addressing the no. 2 topic with my husband haha.
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    • Why do people ask that after baby turns 1. It’s like when are you getting married, you get married then god forbid you wait for more than a year before falling pregnant. It’s a bit like leave me aloooooone! I think if my hubby said right stop work today then I’d jump on having baby no. 2 but doing that morning rush with two babys makes me hyperventilate! X

  4. Sorry to hear about your Dad, glad he’s in remission now! It’s so awful when huge things happen and change the course of how our lives have to go. Our #2 was sort of accidentally-on-purpose – we’d discussed another baby and were sure we didn’t want another Christmas bundle so I knew if I didn’t fall pregnant at the end of last year, we’d definitely have to wait a whole year and against the odds we did and here I am! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • Thank you, he’s doing well thank god. I’m also thinking of timing, so glad you fell pregnant so easily the second time round, baby K is a summer baby I would have loved the second to be April/May but that ship has sailed 😊

  5. You are being very responsible in giving this so much thought. There are many who don’t (which hardly seems believable when you look at all the angles you’ve considered!). Of course, sometimes it is something of a surprise anyway, and you just have to cope! I guess that the old adage of ‘there is never a right time’ is true,as there will always be another career change, business, illness, house move or something happening. For me, the decision to have baby no. 2 was age-related, as both of us (hubby in particular) were older. The rest we just had to deal with! #KCACOLS

    • Sometimes I think it would be easier if it happened by ‘accident’ because as you say you just deal with it, but I’m too careful for that! I’m hoping next year will be a good year x

  6. We decided that we wanted about two and a half years between ours, so that the eldest wouldn’ve started playgroup and had time to get settled before becoming a big brother. It wasn’t easy having another child and it was made even harder by the fact that he suffered from chronic reflux, wouldn’t feed and didn’t sleep. But we got through and our littlest one is now 21 months and I’m wishing we could have a third!

    I think having a second child is much like having a first in that there is never an “ideal” time; there is only a time when you think – hope – you’re ready and can cope with it!

    #KCACOLS
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    • I think the childcare aspect is the biggest thing, am hoping that it won’t take too long to fall pregnant the second time round and we can have a 2.5/3 year gap between them. Hopefully! x

  7. This is such a difficult one, isn’t it? We discussed this for ages – and like you, my husband was keener than me to go for it sooner. My biggest worry was the pregnancy – I had a hard time first time and facing it all over again with another little one to look after (I work 2 days a week and look after him the other days) was unthinkable for a long time. But I think we’re in the right place now – he’s just over 2, and is becoming a bit easier, and I think my desire for another has now overtaken ‘the fear’!

    Wishing you all the best in making your decision – it’s such a tough one to decide, so much more than the first time around for many reasons! #KCACOLS
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    • Like you I think now that my little man is 2 and a little more independent it makes it a little bit less scary, but I think having a 3 year age gap will work well. The beginning of my pregnancy was a bit crappy with morning sickness, hopefully that won’t happen the second time round. Good luck to you too and hopefully it’ll be an easier pregnancy for you too x

  8. We’ve just had our first and a lot of people are already asking if we’ll have another! There’s so much to think about and then you still have nature which will take its course! I think your reasoning about timing is very sensible and certainly food for thought! #KCACOLS

  9. This is a massive topic of conversation for us at the moment! We are really unsure of then to try for a 2nd child. Mia is just over 3 and really settled at preschool 2 mornings a week which turns to 4 in sept, I’m a stay at home mum, blogger and run my own business as well as Mario running his own business and working full time! The main thing that stops us is the overthinking about the situation and how it would be. I’m worried about having a different child to Mia, shes very easy going, slept through the night since 6 weeks old, eats very well and is generally fab. My panic is what if we have a boy (?!) and what if they are the opposite to Mia?
    We want to get married and I don’t want to be trying to lose baby weight still, I turn 30 this year, my sister gets married sept next year, and its turning into a military operation! I wish we were more laid back!
    I think overthinking it is a major issue and I don’t think there is ever a ‘right’ time, I wish you luck 🙂

    #KCACOLS
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    • I’m tired just reading that, you guys are busy busy!I totally agree there is never a ‘right’ time but I think if you can make things a little bit easier it would be great! For me that would be moving more local with work. I suppose what will be will be! x

  10. Our second came as a bit of a surprise to us but I’m so pleased she’s here. Yes I agree nursery is crazily priced in the UK. In fact I think we have the most expensive childcare on the planet! Good luck with whatever decisions you make.#KCACOLS
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  11. We impatiently waited until we could try for baby two and depsite benf so sure I was still so anxious about it. I can’t say what it was that made me anxious I just had a funny feeling about it all. The same feeing is here as we think ahead to baby number 3. #TwinklyTuesday

    • Baby no. 3, go you! My hubby would love to have a big brood, I wouldn’t mind it either if I could stay at home and not work. I suppose you always feel anxious because it changes everything you’re used to, again! x

  12. Yeah this is a hard one isn’t it? I just didn’t go back in the pill after no1 and we agreed to see “what would happen.” It took us over a year to conceive no1 so we thought it would be the same for the next. I was EBF as well. We found out I was preggo after my Hub had finished a month of nights and I was feeling crap. Let’s just say when we finally had the scan and was told we where 14 weeks alone we where shocked to say the least. I don’t think you are ever ready but I think you need to be mentally ready. Going from 3 to 4 is hard (I think) and dividing your attention between everyone is hard work! Nicely written #KCACOLS

    • That’s another thing I worry about, how long it’ll take to actually fall pregnant. I think we’re pretty set in our decision to start next year, when I don’t know but am kind of hoping it’ll be after Christmas! My best friend lives on my road and we both coincidently fell pregnant at the same time with our first, there’s three weeks between them, we now joke that we have to do the same with the second two! I suppose like everyone says when it happens you just make it work x

    • Yes definitely, it then becomes a case of well what will we have to cut back from the first and can we offer the same things to the second….the stress! x

  13. We’re very much in the same boat as you. Originally we wanted one and that was all ut we moved to the countryside last year and having another just seems like the right thing to do. I work a four day week and we have an hour commute both ways too. My husbands aunt minds our daughter and also wouldn’t be able to mind two kids. There’s also school to think about and pick ups and drops offs. So we’ve decided to try for a baby this September and hopefully if all goes to plan I’ll become a stay at home mom when baby arrives I’ll be giving up a great career and job but this means the world to me #KCACOLS

    • Aww that sounds great, I’d love to start trying this year as well but unfortunately we have to wait. Good luck when you start trying not long left! x

  14. To totally get you with the whole finances and extra childcare. You really would just be working to pay nursery fees. I think (not hat I would know) but you would be more prepared second time around and by the sounds of it you are putting a lot of thought into your decision #kcacols
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  15. I’m not sure there is every a ‘right time’. We were supposed to wait a little bit longer but then mum said that for a short period of time she would be happy to look after two children (Zach starts school next year) so we reworked it and fell pregnant within weeks of starting the trying process! Now baby number two is just two months away from being here and I am so excited. There will be a 4 year age gap (bar a few days depending on when he comes) and Zach is so excited to be getting a baby brother. I am looking forward to my maternity leave starting in 4 weeks and we are in a much better position financially that we were first time round. Who knows what the case will be when my maternity leave is up (I only get statutory) but we’ll work around whatever life throws at us. So glad your dad went into remission – I lost mine when I was pregnant and it was utterly shite! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • So sorry to hear about your dad. It’s great that you fell pregnant so quick the second time round, I’m hoping the same will happen for me. I bet your all so excited for your new arrival and only 4 weeks eeeeeekkk! I think we’ll end up with a 3/4 year age gap, although I do get a little broody when I see baby K’s photos from his first Christmas and Halloween x

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